I Refuse To Blog Tomorrow.

Why? Because a man should not be expected to insult himself on his own birthday.

That's right, I'm turning 33, the old cantankerous bastard is getting a little bit older. And crustier, as if that was possible.

So how am I celebrating, you ask? By not blogging, on my usual Wednesday spot. Terrible, I know, to make all 4 of you suffer through a day without my usual antics.

Anyways, some updates: minus the bike helmet, I've experienced no crashes. I mean none. It's like a fucking curse to wear a bike helmet. Crash every other week, if not more frequently. Ditching that albatross was probably my best move of the year. Of course, I've had a lot of bad moves this year (just ask my ex-lover), so making it the best wasn't like a highly competitive field. I might revisit this analysis if I do well on my LSATs...

...but I've found my critical shortcoming in the LSATs: logic games. I'm too slow at them. Scary, huh? For a highly analytical guy, I should be able to take care of them in no time. Sequencing I find easy. Grouping is like a foreign language, and leads to endless confusion. I hate grouping. It's like hanging out in a bar - there's a lot of fucking noise, and I just want to leave. With grouping logic games, same thing, but I know I have to stay and finish the game. It's terrible. Sequencing I can get at 100%, but I'm slow. Grouping I manage 80% and I'm really slow.

Which means my next flight out to California is going to be 6 hours of logic games on a plane (kinda like that Samuel Jackson movie, but without the snakes. I'm pretty sure I'll be saying motherfuckin' a lot more than him).

When's that? Day after tomorrow, that's when. Califor-neye-aye, here I come (again)!

Happy birthday to me! Goddamnit. And you'd better believe that if Sudwerk's doesn't have their infamously good doppelboch, I'm going to read them the riot act, and gets to some serious protesting!

My Home State Has Hate Issues...

Incidentally, I stopped wearing a helmet as I ride Chupecabra through these faulty streets of NYC. I haven't been in an accident since. Not normally given to hocus pocus, superstition and voodoo (though I do like stories of elves and demon goats), there is nonetheless something related between wearing a helmet and getting into accidents - I'm just not sure of the relationship right now.

So why have I chosen to lead with this particular non-sequitur? It's related! Hocus Pocus! Abracadabra! We have our first semi-Black president! All is well! Change we need!

Or is it?

Proposition 5 failed to pass in California, which would have set some of my people free.

That's not change, that's more of the same. Sometimes I wonder at the stupidity of doing the same shit over and over, and expecting different results. The feds are poised to take over the California Prison System, to the tune of 8 billion to California taxpayers in building new prison medical facilities. All they had to do was let some drug addicts go from prison to treatment, and this disaster would be completely averted.

Nevermind that locking people up for consensual crime surrounding 1st Amendment Rights is fucking ridiculous.

1st Amendment? You read me right. Freedom of the press and of speech is meaningless without freedom of thought. Freedom of thought is impossible when the government can dictate what chemicals you can and cannot take, since psychoactive chemicals, by definition, change your thoughts. Since certain mindstates are indeed banned, certain thoughts, by logical extension, are likewise banned. Since certain thoughts are banned, certain speech becomes impossible, and is, by proxy, also banned.

Proposition 8 did pass, banning gay marriage.

That's not change, that's more of the same. (For those who doubt this, bear in mind that I answered my door in 2000 with a petitioner trying to helpfully "add 14 words to the California Constitution to help families: marriage in California is defined as a union between a man and a woman." I told him to get fucked. It's 8 years later, and the fascists finally got their wish.

Everyone who supported Prop 8 can get fucked. Of course, I would have supported Prop 8, if it had banned all marriages, since I think marriage intrudes on my equal protection rights, since I don't believe in marriage, so I'll never receive any of the state-sanctioned benefits of it. In the meantime, the millions spent on this stupid proposition could have gone to the families of Katrina victims - thus actually protecting families, rather than wasting time hating on gay folks.

Can I see a bright side? Of course! I had another byline for this blog post:

Gays finally more well liked than dopeheads - by 9 points! (40/60 for Prop 5, 51/49 for Prop 8).

So, we continue politics of hate in California. Supported, of course, by the Mormon Church. Yes, the people who believe in polygamy somehow have the nerve to comment on other's families. The real funny shit? Proposition 8 bans their own prophet's marriages. Talk about hypocrisy.

Today it rains in New York City, Chupecabra will stay in the stairwell. I go to work, to renew the battle against oppression. We had setbacks in California, major setbacks, but the struggle continues.

In the meantime, I'm reapplying at ONDCP: Obama, make me the new Drug Czar, I swear you'll get results!