Came Back From Cali...

...and all I got was another flat tire.

Seriously. I mean, fuck I just stepped off the plane, went to work, and rode the Metro home. Check my tire in the PM, since it'd been almost a week since Chupecabra and I had met our destiny on these mean streets, but all was good. Pressure solid on both tires.

Got up this morning a little sluggish. I don't really get jetlag, but I tell you, from 80 and dry to 80 and humid can fuck with some sleep. I also had a broken heart. Well, more broken than usual. I got issues. Fortunately, I also have a demon goat of a fucking bike, that likes to help me get my issues out in an angry charge through New York traffic.

However, this morning, Chupecabra wanted me in a rage. That same back tire I checked last night, was fucking flat this morning. So fuckit, replaced the tube with a thorn-resistant model, and put in the slime-gel tube protector. Of course, during this process, my tension bolts somehow decided they wanted to go get fucked, so my tire didn't come back on straight. I didn't know til I hit the streets, ready to ride. Shit was rubbing like the inner thighs of a fat man - and I know, being one. At this point, if I had a thermite bomb, I'd use it on the fucking demon goat. Fortunately, all I had were tools from my brother, so I got that ish straightened out.

Rode to work. Got some of these feelings out, but didn't manage to hit anyone, so I was left with a little left over to make me morbid all day long.

One note about heartbreak and morbidity: it can make you barf text. Hence this blog, even though I just got back from vacation. It also happens to explain just about every Depeche Mode song in creation, though I'm quite certain that now I've pissed off two of my three readers.

Where was I? Oh yeah, work. Did I ever mention that I'm an admin geek? Pathetic, really. I mean, how many stupid 80's movies were based on a geek getting their heart broken? Now, two decades later, here I am, imitating the movies of my youth (well, imitating as long as you take out the prison sentence, the copious amount of drugs, three girlfriends and the fact that I've actually lost my virginity, as far as I can recall [see previous comment about drugs, I might have hallucinated those events]).

Maybe I got a lot more than a flat tire, and Chupecabra was trying to bring the point home. Ouch! That almost was a really bad pun! I'm otta here! Next time, no posting without the aid of copious amounts of alcohol!