Malakkar Becomes Boring!

It's true. I hate to say it. I'm about to become... boring.

Why? Because I have to study for the LSATs! It's terrible, I tell you! While I might entertain with an angsty tale or two of lost romances, and horrible intersections between myself and whatever that demon goat throws me into next, for the most part, I'm buckling down the hatches that don't exist, and getting my mind on LSATs and applying for law school.

Which is to say, that I'm totally procrastinating on finishing my personal statement right now. It's beyond inexcusable, but I'm a notoriously fickle writer, given to tantrums and moments of inspiration alike.

For instance, right now I'm backing some shit up, and wondering why the fuck I'm not actually listening to any music for a change. I'm also wondering how I've managed to make it almost a whole month without a major traffic accident. Well, almost a whole month. Well, okay, I've only been on the beast for three weeks, and the first week I did get into another accident when my chain fell off... and I got hit by a taxi...

..but outside of that, I feel like I've really turned a corner with Chupecabra, and the broken rib is like payment made for the next upcoming year in NYC. I hope.

I also managed to get a raise at work. Which means I'll actually have a second dollar bill to rub the first one against. Soon enough: wall street, and I'll be able to get a bailout, assuming I make enough bad credit decisions.

Speaking of bad credit decisions, I applied for and received a United VISA card, only to cancel it the day I got it. They gave me so much damn credit, I thought the crisis was about to ride on my back! I got scared, I admit. To wield that much opportunity to royally fuck myself for the next 20 years was too much for me. I balked at the potential, and coughed that fucked up into a pair of scissors, after calling to ensure it would never be activated.

Nice try, fuckers, I'll only become your debtslave for law school, not for cheesy shit at Target...

...not that I shop there... or much of anywhere outside of eBay and Craigslist. I am, after all, still stuck rubbing two bills together...

Next time: post election analysis, or, how we're still royally fucked, and what YOU can do about it.