My Blog from MySpace, v. 3 The Jewish Chronicles

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Baruch Big Willie Town, Holla!
Current mood: anxious
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I've been told before: fear Jewish armies, and Italian Gangsters.

However, as I've said so many times before, I've been lied to my
entire life. You gotta fear them Jewish Gangsters, because
they're out there, and they're ready for some serious trouble.

They're easy to spot - all gangs are. They got them brimmed hats,
dress in their gang color - black, and all have the same
hairstyle, a miracle since curly forelocks just don't exist on
normal people with straight hair. They even have their own gang
slang. "Baruch Atoh Adonai, Elahaynu, Melech Ho-Alum" "Shalom,"
and "Sheimah, Israel!"

Hasidim are Jewish Gangsters.

They roll Williamsburg thick. Day in, day out, they hit the
streets like a pack of wolves, in sheep's clothing. They're
neither nice nor rude, with an air of polite indifference to
everyone around them.

I know what's going on though - behind the closed doors, after
the sun sets, at the Schuyl - the brims tip sideways, the fat
gold chains come out, and it's top shelf wine, glocks and gats,
waving blunts and lighters in the air, "Wessyde, Brooklyn!"

I know what "Shalom, Manishmah" literally means - "Peace, Man."

But I can translate from their gang-speak: "Piece, man." As in,
"you fuck with us Hasidim, you're gettin' a piece of a glock,
goy," or "You wanna PIECE of this black badass brim, bitch?"

I keep my head low in Big Willie Town, home of the original
Hasidim gunclappers. No eye contact, and keep it movin'.

And I keep a Star of David around my neck, in case of emergency.
It's my Jewish ghetto-pass.

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