My Blog from MySpace, v. 5 (Beta Bureaucrat)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Banality of Bureaucracy
Current mood: bored
Category: News and Politics

Or, What Happened at the Social Security Administration's Card Center at 7:30 in the Morning.

I first tried to get my social security card at 3:00 pm on last Friday, but Social Security, due to some weird homeland security crap, now individually checks out each person trying to get into the building, with the full airport rigamarole. I thought it was some sick joke, standing in a line of 50 people, until I realized, after them taking three minutes to process one person, that they would continue at their snail's pace. I didn't have enough time to get in and get my biz handled.

So I left, vowing never to return, to instead handle all things with the government via mail (and thus staying a safe distance away from them in the process).

My vows are so easily broken. Probably why I'm never getting married. But I digress.

I returned Tuesday morning, thinking (correctly, because I'm a fucking genius) that no one messes with bureaucrats before noon. Place opened at 7 a.m., and I ride up at 7:30-ish.

There are two sets of double-doors to get in the place. Naturally, I choose the wrong set... not that they're labelled. There's a roped-off lane for the furthest right door, and I'm directed by security to use that single door, since the left-hand side of the double-door is locked (the other double doors were both open, but whatever).

It's empty. I mean, fucking ghost town empty. Yet three security guards at the ground floor. 3 minutes later (they're almost like clockwork, must be a social security thing, like their checks), I'm on my way up to the sixth floor, where the actual office is (security checkpoint is on the first floor).

Empty. Ghost town. Two security guards at the front of the lobby area. Glass encased office fronts all around, about thirty stations total. Roped off area for a line, but there's no one here.

Nonetheless, a security guard is up on me. "You gotta have a number ticket," and he's punching something into a computer terminal near the door I just walked through. A paper receipt is printed, and he hands it to me.

Slightly bewildered, "you're kidding, right? There's NO ONE HERE!"

He looks at me gravely, "No, no I'm not. And stay between the gray and black roped area - that's the line. I'll escort you there."

Yes, yes folx, he escorted me to the line, and then instructed me to go to the front of the line, and wait to be called. While tempting, I didn't ask if he'd send me to the back of the line if I cut, or went around the roped area.

I get the call before I hit the front of the non-existant line, "I'll take you here..."

Nice lady, I think, and walk up.

"I need your ticket number."

"Uhh... there's no one else here."

"Don't care, have to see if you're next."

I look around the still empty lobby. The security guard is already back to the front, and conversing with his coworker. "You're kidding, right? There's no one here!"

"Don't care. Give me the ticket, or you're not getting service."

Goddamn. I hand her the ticket, and it's back to pleasant mode. Three minutes later, I'm done handling my business... just in time to see another bewildered person enter the lobby, and get directed to the line, even though there's still no one waiting in the line, and 10 open offices.

Nothing like procedure.

12:45 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove