My Blog from MySpace, v. 4 Mouthy Mush

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Hideous? Will you be my dentist?
Current mood: amorous
Category: Life

So once again I'm at the dentist.

It happens a lot to me, because I spent about seven years not taking care of my teeth, then I started taking care of them, and wound up with the worse dental care for about seven and a half years. My mouth is the true veteran of the drug war. Que sera, sera, right?

First off: my dentist and oral surgeon are both too fucking hot for a hetero like myself to really go to. While it's rare for me to derive a health benefit from some beautiful woman giving me pain (I'm quite used to beautiful women giving me pain, but it's usually emotional rather than physical), such is the case with both of them. This is not my point - my point is that it's really fucking hard to get your grill worked on, while trying to check out your health care provider.

It's probably why so many women think men are pigs - it doesn't matter that I want to scream in pain from the needle dig into my jawline, or the first drilling session because I'm a little resistant to novacaine, I'm STILL trying to check out my dentist (or oral surgeon, but she was doing the root canal).

I mean, I'm quite sure I could be having my leg SAWED OFF by my oral surgeon, and I would be thinking in my head "well, shit, I bet that'll increase the available positions..." or something else that's truly inappropriate.

And it makes me stupid... "so, do you want me to [go on a date with you] try and prep a crown, or prep an extraction and think about getting a post and implant?"

"Yes!"
"Well... which one?"
"Oh yeah, my bad. Let's try to cap it."
"Gold for durability, or porcelain for cosmetic appearance?"
"Yes! I mean, damn, uhh.. gold. I don't care about matching teeth."

I'm not that vain, after all - just strike dumb by beautiful women. I swear, next time, I'm asking if they're ugly first. "Hideous? Sign me up!"

6:45 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove